PIX and a "D" Mix

My side walk chalk "handi-work" - yes, I need to get a life...

Joe, "Ronald", Bridget, and Cousin Chloe







We love ice cream!!!




Summer Studying

Soccer Joe!

Bridget!!!

Jumping Joe!

The 4th in Essex Junction, VT - We know how to "do it right !!!"

So...life being life has been keeping the Maher Clan busy. Here are a few photos of some of what we have been up to. More stories to come soon. I have been in a big "D" depression, funk, what-have-you. I think it is wearing on me... "D". It has been just shy of 4 years since Joe was diagnosed. I know the ropes, I know the "ins" and I am familiar with the "outs" of type 1. Nothing really rattles me these days. I think what it is...actually, I know what it is...it is that there is NO end in sight. This disease is HIGH MAINTENANCE friends. No other condition requires this much diligence hour-to-hour...day-to-day... it is catching up to me and my dear family. Sometimes I feel we are all "rats on the wheel"...chasing blood sugars around the clock... prick, measure, weigh, bolus and repeat...UGH.

I keep these thoughts to myself mostly. I don't want Joe to hear them. I feel guilty for my resentment of "D" and of the care regimen. After all, it is Joe that will have to endure this ridiculousness for the rest of his life...and yes, I realize it is not ridiculous...but honestly, when explaining what we do daily to those not familiar with our lives...it does seem like we live on Mars or some other planet. Where else do you find blood smeared on your hands, pants, and shirt after some "sloppy" night checks?... what other families are setting alarms for every 2-3 hours through the night? ... who in the heck weighs their children's grapes, watermelon, etc? ... where else do you find mothers throwing needles, glucometers, and Starbursts to the back of the minivan while driving? ... what other mothers are stabbing needles into their children's rumps while airborne on a jet? CRAZY TIMES... CRAZY LIFE... another report...and thoughts... on the day-in-the-life of parenting a child with type 1.

For my fellow "D-Rents" out there... I know we are all in a funk these days, or so it seems. So, one more poem to add a little "background mood" to our pity party...before I start to pull up the boot straps yet again! "WOOT WOOT"...ok, maybe it should be in lower case...I forgot I was depressed for a second ("woot woot" - in monotone, quiet voice):

AMNESIA

I cannot remember what it is like to sleep through the night without alarms set, a schedule of checks planned based on blood sugar numbers.

I cannot remember what it is like to sleep without worry, will my child be OK the next time I check on him...will he be LOW, will he be conscious, will he be laying in a puddle of saliva post seizure...

I cannot remember a time that I wasn't measuring, weighing, counting food.

I cannot remember a time when I wasn't an inventory keeper of medical supplies; keeping track of insulin, blood glucose strips, ketone strips, lancets, glucose tablets, juice boxes, starbursts etc.

I cannot remember a time without a log...to document all the blood sugar numbers for tracking our insulin settings so that adjustments can be made.

I cannot remember a time that I could just watch my son play, do sports, go to a party without constantly being "ON". Making sure I am monitoring his blood sugar and "boosting" him up to ward off LOWS.

I cannot remember a time that I could just pack his lunch and send him off to school, not worrying about every morsel of food in his snack bag and lunch box...will he eat it? Will the nurse be calling me?

I cannot remember a time that I was without my cell phone when my son was not in my immediate care.

I cannot remember a time that something consumed me as D sometimes does. To an outsider it must seem odd... but how can it not, consume that is, it's existence seeps into everything.

I cannot remember a time that I wasn't "clock-watching" keeping track of when the next blood sugar check needs to take place or the next snack or meal needs to be prepared.

I cannot remember a time when I was care-free.

I cannot remember a LIFE without D.