Thursday, May 25, 2017

Letting Go ... A Bit More

Sometimes I feel like this d' mom business is like being drug down a path, not of my choosing - mind you, by my 4th toenail; I claw and scratch and dig at the earth in resistance.  I worry.  Many times I feel alone with that worry, as it can be belittled by those who don't truly understand the nuances of t1d.


Maybe it's because he hasn't really ran this far before.

Maybe it's because it's a crowded and chaotic event.

Maybe it's because we really have no experience with basal reduction and carb boosting with distance running.

Maybe it's the logistics of him running 5.3 miles out and then needing to take a shuttle, on his own, to get back to the finish line.  

Maybe it's because I'm running the whole marathon and I won't be able to get to him easily if he needs help.

My friend offered Joe a leg in the Vermont City Marathon.  It is taking place this Sunday.  I am registered to run the marathon and Bridget is going to do a half marathon.  It's a big event for Burlington, Vermont.  The news has been broadcasting updates on the weather and marathon details for over a week now.  Downtown Burlington is congested with thousands and thousands of people: runners, spectators, and volunteers. 

When my friend asked Joe about the leg, I was sitting in between her and Joe.  Joe perked up and confirmed he would like to run the leg.  I kinda did a grumbly-mumbly under my breath 'uhm...we aren't really prepared for him to run a leg.'

My friend: 'Oh don't worry my kids haven't done that distance either.'

Me: 'No...d...ddiabetes."

I felt bad for even saying that.  I don't think Joe heard me.  Yes, I have always tried to show him he can do anything despite having diabetes.  He has....but...I've always been there.  I've been there with sugar sources, back-up supplies, and a brain that can make split decisions about bolusing, boosting, and adjusting pump settings. This will be a 5 mile jog without his parents close by, but surrounded by thousands of people...and aid stations...and even medical stations...and there is even a race tracking app.  I guess it's as good of an event as any to let go a bit more.

Last night..

' can do it, but you need to have sugar with you, your phone with you...and you have to wear your medical ID.'

'I will Mom.'