Thursday, July 26, 2012

Tough Choice

I know better.  I know better.  I know better.  When pray-tell am I going to do better?   I know that he goes high after the movies.  Yes, I crank-up his basal by 100% for an hour and a half while he sits.  And... yes, I even pre-bolus him for an hour of basal while cranking-up the basal.  And... of course I RAGE BOLUS for the "kiddie combo" of popcorn and fun-sized Skittles.  Post-movie, Joe's blood sugar was a titch over 300.  He corrected, under my instruction ... even though part of me knew he would crash, but the 300 got under my skin.  I could not let it be.  After we arrived home, to add insult to injury (aka "activity to correction") we then proceeded to finish out our afternoon by heading over to our local pool and park via bike.  Joe experienced a significant low an hour later.  By "significant", I mean not only was his number low (in the 50s), but his legs became weak and he was out of sorts emotionally.  

Significant lows happen.  Unfortunately, they are not always "convenient" with the pressures of life, parenting, and schedules. 

"You are all that is keeping me going."  His voice was strained.  His pedaling slow.

"I would normally be home by now."  His verbage and demeanor cracking.

"This low has me pedaling at 1 mile per hour." Briefly I saw the humor of his Y chromosomal need to quantify the shitty hand that this low dealt him.

Then he cracked as his bike was listing, tears in his voice "I hate diabetes."

"I know buddy.  Do you need more sugar?"

"Yeah...let's try that."

We stopped, straddling our bikes.  Two more Starbursts were unwrapped and mother-birded.  "Can you keep going Joe?  We need to keep going.  Joe we gotta keep going ... we are going to be late to pick-up Bridge." 

At this moment I was hating diabetes too.  Once again, it placed me in a position of feeling like an inadequate parent.  On the one hand, I was left pushing my son to keep biking to get get to our car .... so that we could pick-up Bridget from camp.  I know that biking or any physical exertion on his part was detrimental to him and his recovering blood sugar, yet there I was coaxing him to pedal-on in order to make some sort of progress. On the other hand, it, diabetes, was now going to take away a timely showing for Bridget at her first day of camp.

After the Starburst pit stop, the bike riding was not going well.  Joe was too weak to make it up the final two hills to our home.  His number was recovering, but physically he had not "caught up".  So, I had a tough choice to make.  Many of you may question my judgement.  Not sure if it was the right thing.  I ditched him.  I ditched him in a lawn about two to three blocks from our house.  I left him with his bike and Woodchuck (his diabetes supply bag).  "Mom is going to speed home and get the car Joe.  If you feel you are dropping, take more sugar.  I'll be right back."  Leery of my decision and still a bit pissed at the disease, I parted with Joe.

I hauled ass home only to realize that my keys were in Woodchuck (ya know...the "Woodchuck" I left a few blocks back with Joe).  Expletives were flying off the tip of my parched tongue like rapid machine gun fire as I hauled booty back to Joe and Woodchuck.  Upon approaching Joe, I was relieved to see him sitting upright and color returning to his face.  I snatched the keys from Woodchuck and then hauled booty back home and hopped into the car to haul booty back to Joe and then onto haul booty to pick-up Bridget from her first day of camp.

I was 7 minutes late.

A tough choice in our day-in-the-life of managing type 1 diabetes. 


Barb Wagstaff (Diabetes Advocacy) said...

Been there and would have done the same thing. Diabetes sucks! So sorry :(

Amanda said...

That's a tough spot to be in. I might have done the same thing. Stupid diabetes!

Amanda said...

Less than a year into D, my husband and I got bikes so we could go on family bike rides. That first evening we went out for a ride. About a 1/4 mile from home and Kortnie was dropping hard. I brought the checker but no sugar, so I left her with daddy and hauled ass home to get something and hauled ass back, gave her juice and realized I should have just knocked on 3 different doors of friends whose homes we were stalled in front of! Yep, not thinking clearly. Now I have a juice, Smarties, and gluc in my bike basket all the time.

Lora said...

I would have done the same thing. Bike rides kick our asses. We are always on the side of the road, straddling our bikes, sucking down the juicy juice.

Sometimes if feels as if it never ends.

katy said...

I know I would have done the same thing, complete with the leaving the keys in the woodchuck.

And I would have been scared, more of a passer-by criticizing me than for a bad hypo.

You're a great mom. I love reading these. I think I say it every time, but I am learning so much from you.

Sarah said...

those moments suck arse! We've been there quite a few times due to my over diligence to rage bolus the crap outta a high number, I just hate seeing some of those numbers, but darn it you'd think I'd learn. So, we keep TONS of sugar with us and have learned how to bike while pushing him up hills on his bike, TJ is much better at balancing this than I am. It frustrates me endlessly, but then I think, we did it! We went to a movie, biked to a park, and made sucked booty at parts, but darn it we did it! Reyna, you did, too! You guys are rock stars, never giving up and able to make split minute decisions that work. Bravo to you :) Hope you have a kick booty rest of your week.

Kelly said...

We just had one of those emotional in the 50's lows over here today...sigh...I hate diabetes too. We have yet to have one of these low bike experiences but when we do I probably won't handle it as well as you both did. xoxo

Meri said...

You did the right thing. The other choice? Having him bike up the hills with that low? Not good.

I hate how we often have to choose the lesser of two evils. Like treating lows. Do you want THIS sugar or THIS sugar.

Love you, by the way...

Denise aka Mom of Bean said...

Totally have my support in the choice to let Joe sit out the low. It's not like you left him in the middle of Times Square! And it's not like he wasn't in the process of coming up, having had sugar.
Yeah, would have been kicking myself in the ass for the series of insanity that D puts us through, but sometimes we have to make those sucky choices and just move on. could have been 45 minutes late had Joe tried to get up those two more hills!!

Pennisi's said...

I would have made the same exact choice! We do what we have to do!

BTW - had a similar diabetes induced expletive spew in my garage a few days ago. My new neighbor had the NERVE to say something about my language. I was not polite in my response.


Colleen said...

You're a great mom and like others have said, I learn so much from you.

Jules said...

we make choices as mums that are hard, with D involved or not. your daughter has a schedule and needs and you and your husband. D just sucks ass but you did your best. unless you are a time travelling octopus pancreas id say your compromise was pretty good.
big hugs -you are doing a great job. *recently got my eldest a mobile phone just incase i get caught up with D related emergency we can contact each other.

Tracy1918 said...

Oh my word! Can't believe after making that tough choice, the keys were left in the bag. That would totally happen to me!

But you did the right thing.

Sometimes I hate diabetes too.

Liz said...

Reyna, given the choice, I would have done the same thing. I know from experience after a bad low, I would not have been able to get off the ground for a while. When there's no juice...there's no go!

You're a great mom...always...and I hate diabetes too!

Anonymous said...

Two blocks from home..... I think you did fine.... would have done the same thing. And impossible to be a crystal ball. So many times, I have given an aggressive correction when 300 or more and she still does not come down enough because she is resistant when that high. We can do what has usually worked well for us in the past but can't always guarantee the result will be the same every time.

Misty said...

Ugh! I hate it when we correct those big numbers only to have a low later. I think you are an amazing MamaPancreas and you handled the situation like a pro.

Becky V said...

I thought of you and this blog post as I raced home from soccer camp last week to get the forgotten meter. Fortunately it was 7 minutes there and back, but I was a bit freaked that J would somehow have a sudden event since I had not talked with any of the coaches about his D, since I or my husband were going to watch through each 1 hour session. You did what I would have done.