"Owww...HARhumph .... MOM!!! You are talking way too loud!"
Joe and I were on the phone the other day. He has a new Tracfone. Dave and I had bought it for Joe as a safety-net as he undertakes all of his various endeavors before and after school, while playing with his pals in the 'hood, and all of Joe's what not.
Joe was calling me from his friend's house. He and his friend were about to eat a snack. Our plan was that he was going to call me with a blood sugar number and a carb count and an activity report to calculate how much of an insulin bolus to give.
Back to the convo....
Me: "Joe, I don't know what you are talking about. I am talking "normal"." (using an extra calm and soft, soothing voice ... yes, I have one of those)
Joe: "Oh...I put it on speaker...oops...gonna keep it there though. My ear is sweaty."
***Ewww****
Joe: "We are gonna eat a snack."
Me: "How many carbs?"
Joe: "29"
Me: "What was your number?"
Joe: "Huh?"
*seriously?...how many years have we been doing this?...eye-roll...no sigh...trying to be somewhat of a good parent and pancreas all at the same time... which, by-the-way, is not easy*
Me: "Ah...did you check a number?"
Joe: "No."
Me: "JOE, check a number."
Joe: "OK"
*muffled voices, screams, laughter...he is having a good time*
Joe: "101"
Me: "What is the snack?"
Joe: "A Popsicle-y thing."
Me: "Is it all Popsicle? OR is there some ice cream involved with it?" (If it were all Popsicle, I would only have him cover 10 grams max. Between the activity level and the glycemic index, Joe tends to drop like a rock when I fully cover Popsicles, juice, and the like)
Joe: "It is like an Oreo Ice Cream Bar."
Me: "OK...bolus for 20 of the 29 grams."
Joe: "Bye Mom"
**********
Not sure what is going on with Joe these days.
We have been doing "Diabetes" for roughly six years now. The last month or two have proven to be a bit difficult as Joe's independence with diabetes and "life" in general is expanding. He meanders the 'hood on his bike visiting friends and looking for "work". He started a Lawn Care business with his friend (his motto is "We put the CARE in Lawn Care" ... catchy). The playdate, mentioned above, is the fifth home that he has ever gone to without me, his portable pancreas, in tow. It is the first place that I did not train the parents in preparation for his stay. I am becoming more and more comfortable with letting loose a bit. He always travels with sugar. He has the phone. He is with a friend. We always discuss, double discuss, and triple discuss our "plan" regarding blood sugars and diabetes management.
We are running into some issues though...
1) He isn't checking his blood sugar before he eats.
2) I am getting frustrated.
3) I am sighing...out loud...sometimes.
4) He says he forgets. Once he is reminded, he does it without complaint.
5) AND. I catch him free-basing crackers, chips, and snack-like items when we are out with friends.
Burnout? I dunno. Is he really "forgetting" to check? It is his routine, has been for years. I think he is he is a bit sick and tired of the never-ending-ness of it all. I know I am. Frankly, I am looking forward someone else supervising his "pancreating ways" when he starts school tomorrow. And, yes, I feel some guilt over those feelings. Joe won't get a break. Ever.
Joe's pancreating driving me nuts in my day-in-the-life.
14 comments:
Suddenly I'm wondering if my boys are normal.
I could have written this myself.
Maddison is the same...Im still not sure what to do about it, but Im sure my nagging and reminding doesnt help. I guess if they can get away with even 1 less finger poke they will try try try. -Sigh-
must be something in the air... my nearly 11 year old son has recently been "forgetting" that he has to test his blood sugars and bolus ... doh! we've only been doing this 4.5 YEARS now!
I would think this is very normal for a boy...probably girls too at this age. Your last comment about him going to school and having someone else take care of him is EXACTLY how I felt the couple days leading up to Nat going to school. And I also felt so guilty for feeling that way!
So. Totally. Normal! Seriously. I've been diabetic for 25 years. I should know better than to skip tests or guess at carb amounts. And yet, I still do it. And yes, I sometimes forget to test or to bolus. Lily being diabetic and taking care of her is no excuse. It just happens sometimes. Joe is totally normal, Reyna. And you're both doing a great job!
Same here. Great to read so many sames. Must be normal!
We are totally not here yet but I would think like everyone else that this is so normal! Hope everyone has a great school year! xoxo
my fav is when Bean asks "why" when I ask her to test...um, cuz you have DIABETES?!?!?
my two cents? probably just Joe feeling out some independence and wanting to do what his friends do...graze without having to test and bolus. frustrating, for sure, tho!!
They don't always check because, as you put it, they are in the moment. It;s normal...to be expected. And you are exactly right, the neverendingness of it all. Although I am not too font of the AP, as I long for something less invasive, such as islet transplantation without immunosuppressants, it is clear that the AP is going to arrive on the scene first. Guessing in ten years, when Joe is almost ready for college, this will make things easier for him. Certainly not easy enough, but some improvement. I'll take it, even though it is far from perfect, still invasive, still have to wear two sites. But he won't have to micromanage 24/7. P.S. I would hire him to do my lawn any day, LOL.
sounds like him and TJ have been dipping into the same dar brained cookie jar lately, I keep telling myself "let it go", "it is just a moment" but darn these moments (like feeding Isaac huge copious amounts of ice cream without checking his BG or measuring the ice cream, WHAT?!) are starting to add up and he's my husband - oye! Maybe, hopefully, it's something in the weather and fall will bring it all back around!
Believe it or not, he probably is forgetting to check. Be glad he remembered to call! I have a 17 year old who forgets to bolus fir a meal generally about one or times a week when school is in session. Sometimes he'll go for weeks without forgetting a bolus and then he'll forget twice in 24 hrs! It drives me nuts, but I know he really does forget. And at his age, I can't be bugging him about everything--he's got to learn from his own mistakes. He also freebases carbs, generally right before dinner (who knows what goes on at school) This really screws things up when he complains that his carb ratio is too aggressive or his basal too high, but I've been making changes based on the assumption that he's only eating the carbs he's been bolusing for.
I hear ya, Rey. I experience the same things with G. She also has a phone. I watch this video by Joe Solo whenever I get stuck, and it helps me get unstuck and provides me some ways in dealing with it all. They have worked for G. There are some 'non negotiables' - so she does what I expect, we are clear and when she breaks the rules, there are consequences. I know, maybe I am a hardass, but honestly, she's happier than she has ever been since I made it clear what I will and will not expect. She knows where she stands. Here is the link to the video. Maybe you can glean a nugget or two for you and Joe. I know, it's endless. I hear ya.
http://www.childrenwithdiabetes.com/video/JoeS2.htm
Please tell me you saw this post by Wendy - http://www.candyheartsblog.com/2012/08/solo-sleepover-rest-of-story.html
I love the N O spels NO part :)
totally hear ya on this one....Emma is 8 going on 28 and it's making me mental lately. I too can not wait for school to start for her Tuesday.
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