The Mirror

As we walked side-by-side through the parking garage into the hospital yesterday, his 6' frame towering over me...he said 'I don't really even think about having diabetes except on Endo days and sometimes when I have to check a number.'

'Really?'

'Yeah'

He then went onto say something that briefly caused my eyes to sting.  He said, 'it's weird, but when I look in the mirror...I don't see my POD anymore.  I don't see the CGM.  I just see me.' 

When Joe thinks of himself, he says diabetes doesn't even enter his definition of who he is.

The Endo appointment went well.  Joe continues to do the majority of his care.  He is an active high school freshman and manages to juggle school, being an athlete, and managing diabetes successfully.  His A1C was 7.  A fine number considering his growth and his independence.

He turns 15 at the end of April.  We discussed his drivers permit with his endocrinologist.  You see, driving with diabetes adds another element of risk to just the act of driving.  People with t1d need Medical Clearance Paperwork, in order to get their driver's permit or license.  When Joe starts to drive, he should check a blood glucose prior to driving and every hour if he is driving for more than an hour's time.  He should not drive unless his blood glucose is 90mg/dL, or higher.  Driving low is more dangerous than driving inebriated.

I'm not sure how I am doing with all of this.  Actually, that's a lie.  I do know how I've been doing.  I've been fairly anxious.  High school has been more of an adjustment for me...than for him; I think.  I have had to back off as a hands-on pancreas and trust that I have taught him well.  I have.  Can I just say, at this age, sometimes having that damn Dexcom is a blessing and a curse all in one.  Watching his blood sugar remotely can cause my mascara-fringed eyeballs to bulge outta their orbits when his number is tanking to the 40's, while he is at school or at a hockey practice.  There isn't a darn thing I can do to help him.  I watch.  I wait.  I worry, then I hope and I trust things will be OK.

A day-in-the-life update.

Some Ding Dang Blunt Honesty

What he was expressing isn't emoted often. It's rare for him to complain about t1d.  He truly just goes about his day-in-the-life of teenager-hood like a teenager-y boy in a teenager-ish manner.

Being a Teenager

About a week, or so, ago...

Perhaps it was because he does most of his care now.  Maybe it coulda been because he was being a typical 14 year old boy.  And it most definitely could have been because I scheduled his annual lab draw, a flu shot, his Endocrine appointment, and a 504 meeting all on the same day.  I forget - it's alot....type 1, it's management, and the crap that accompanies it.

He was slumped over and apparently taking a "nap" during our 10 minute drive to his Endo appointment.

I was definitely resembling a chatty, perky, 40-something-year-old, mom-type as I rattled off questions with a brisk tongue; trying to engage in some sort of meaningful conversation with my boy.

He hardly responded to me, as in I mean there were moans, groans, and single syllable words used.  I think I was  annoying him.

'Joe aren't you happy you get today off of school?'

A ..'For sucky reasons' was mumbled.

'It's not so bad.' An attempt to encourage him to be more positive was made.

Joe then sat up straight and and then set me straight.  'I get to go get my blood drawn, get a flu shot and see a doctor about a disease that I don't want....I then get to go sit in a conference room ... with a bunch of my teachers ... and discuss the disease that I don't want.  It's the worst.'

'I can think of worse things.' I then mentioned something about death, death of loved ones, and maybe squeaked in the death of his beloved dogs all being way worse than his day with the disease that he doesn't want.

His response...'it's the worst that I've experienced in my life, so far.'

Good point.  I wish I'd keep my mouth shut sometimes.  As we chiseled our way through the diabetes "to do" list, his attitude improved. His A1C - 6.9.  He had some insight into his 504 Plan and discussed it with his team.  He was back to "the Joe" I typically see.

Blunt honesty about his day-in-the-life.

The Exam Table

There was a time I had to lift him up to the exam table. 

His A1C was 7.1%.  

An 8:15 a.m. appointment, during his first week of summer vacation, was not a cool start to his day-in-the-life. 😀