My Dear Joe.. He rarely complains about the diabetes aspect of his life. I'm not sure if he thought the POD would make it more like he did not have diabetes. Granted it looks like "less" of a big deal than the tubing-ed pumps to an outsider, but "it", the POD, doesn't really take away the day~in~the~life of managing diabetes. I think Joe is starting to recognize that. It is difficult to watch.
A couple of evenings ago...after dinner time...
"I don't want to do a site change now ... can't you just do it at 4am?" Tears were pooling in his medial canthi. I could hear the emotion in his voice. (Btw this is very, very, very uncharacteristic of Joe when it comes to site changes)
The POD would be expiring at 4am. Apparently, Joe wanted me to just pop-up and change it at 4am. He wanted to procrastinate on the POD change. He was as close to begging, as one could be...without actually begging.
I held firm.
I explained that waiting 'til 4am wasn't a sound plan.
He rallied a bit. We changed the POD. He winced with the insertion. Tears slid down his cheeks in pain? frustration? defeat? I'm not sure which emotion the tears originated from.
Then Joe reached for me, for an embrace. He was silent as we hugged.
"I think Joe...I think what you are finding out...what we are figuring out...is that there is no perfect pump for managing diabetes. No matter what pump you use, you still have the diabetes and all that comes with it...the site changes...you still have accessories in the form of bands or pump packs...you still have to check blood sugars ... count carbs ... bolus...you still experience the highs and the lows. The technology doesn't take away the disease. It's still there."
Joe nodded, his head still nestled into my neck.
A day~in~the~life of recognizing the limitations of technology. It is not a CURE.
14 comments:
If he only knew that all of us T1's feel exactly the same way :(
Awe, hugs to you and Joe. I think we've all felt that way at one time or another. Hang in there, you are doing fine.
You have another 8 hours after it expires, taking you to 80 hours, as long as you still have insulin. If the 4am mark was the "official" expiration, you could have waited until morning.
I think there's a learning curve will all new d-technology and a transition period. I'm sure with time he'd be used to it.
Change is change. And who likes change?
Aw, hugs to Joe. It sounds like our boys are going through a lot of the same things. It is truly very hard to watch. I thought it would get "easier" as the years went by and it hasn't.
For the record, when we switched from the Ping to the Pod, I was not sold o it either (while Adam loved it) If you go back in my blog to around January 2011, you'll find plenty of posts where I curse the Pod and wish we were back on the Ping. :) We had many adhesion issues too. Not sure if it's a "boy" thing or not, lol!
My heart is breaking. Justin tends to bottle everything up and I always worry that he is going to blow one day. Joe is so lucky to have you to have on days that get the better of him.
Hugs to both of you! xoxo
It's still there...
Thinking of you both as you continue through these life transitions together. xoxo
yep, no matter what the technology, the D is still there, sucking like a mofo!
our first three months with the pod were frustrating....lots and lots of alarms..but it was still way the hell better than shots and over the almost three years now of using it, we wouldn't trade it for the world.
big hugs for both of you!!
I don't wanna, either.
There are times when I stretch my Ping to the very last drop, just so I don't have to do a change.
Love and hugs to you both - And "leash" or not, I totally get where's Joe is coming from!
Xoxo
I agree with Scully. We're right there with him.
Hi Reyna,
I have been reading your pod posts with interst since we're also podding for the first time. I've been super frustrated with her BGs as I feel they're worse on the pod, although she also seems to be going through a growth spurt and is eating a ton. We've had about 5 pod failures in the past month. Last night I had to change it a day early and she burst into tears. The insertion seems to be more painful than medtronic a sure t and sometimes she will tell me GO on the cannula insert, then change her mind...but there's no way for me to stop the thing. She insists she will loves it, but my husband is starting to wonder. Hope joes feeling better and hope we get the hang of this pod thing before school!
Take care, Jessica
correct, regardless of what the innovation, the D is still there, sucking like a mofo!
our first three months with the case were frustrating....lots and heaps of alarms..but it was still way the heck superior to shots and over the just about three years now of utilizing it, we wouldn't exchange it for the planet.
this.
yep, this is what Isaac told me yesterday.
It started with a diabetes stinks comment and then...
He asked how old he was when he "got diabetes", I told him we figured it out when he was 19 months old. He asked if he'd be done when he was 11, since that is when TJ was diagnosed somehow it seemed right to him. I hated telling him that no, he'd still have diabetes at 11 unless a scientist figured out a way to stop his body from attacking his insulin making cells. He still insisted that he'd be done with it by 11. It wasn't a fun conversation and I realized slowly that he just wanted to vent. Diabetes stinks!
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